Why You Keep Attracting the Same Toxic Relationship Patterns
Before my last breakup I studied everything under the sun on how to have a healthy relationship, and also had 10 years of psychotherapy under my belt. Before getting into a relationship with my ex I knew exactly what I wanted- a healthy, lasting, and committed relationship.
Needless to say I felt super duper prepped and ready get back into dating despite my previous heartbreaks. So when I connected with my then boyfriend I proceeded into that relationship with confidence. When I realized that I had deep feelings for him I didn’t self-sabotage like I used to. Instead I gave him, us, a chance and opened back my heart to loving again.
But WAH WAH, only to find myself heartbroken at the end of it all again! What gives, Universe?!
Not only did I see the same toxic relationship patterns rear their ugly heads again, that relationship left me with even more trauma to deal with.
I was defeated. Why did I keep attracting men who betrayed me through lying about their past (they were often still legally married but didn’t tell me), emotionally cheated on me, shattered my trust, and then emotionally invalidated or gaslit me when I came to them with my hurt and anxiety because of these patterns? It didn’t make sense. I felt like “I did the work.”
After my breakup with my last ex, I wanted to figure this out once and for all and I was propelled into a transformative spiritual journey of self discovery, inner healing, and awakening. During this time I devoted myself to liberating myself from these toxic relationship patterns for good. It was also during this time I developed my own unique process to undo toxic patterns permanently and successfully manifest a healthy conscious relationship. This is the same unique process I practice with my clients in all of my 1:1 sessions or 3 month coaching program.
It was no longer okay for me to be shackled by these patterns that were preventing me from being in a loving relationship that I deeply desired and deserved. I realized that the reasons why I was faced with one heartbreak after another had absolutely nothing to do with my worth as a partner.
Here was what I discovered as to why we keep attracting the same toxic relationship patterns:
You still hold core limiting beliefs about love and relationships within your subconscious mind.
You unconsciously look for evidence (in relationships) to support your core limiting beliefs.
You are stuck in a subconscious loop between your subconscious beliefs and evidence of them in your 3D reality.
There is an imbalance between your feminine and masculine energies.
You have not clearly established your personal boundaries with your person.
The main takeaways from my discoveries were:
Your subconscious mind reigns supreme.
Studies show 95% of our decisions are determined unconsciously. In a Harvard Medical School article Srini Pillay, MD writes, “Past experience shapes present and future behavior. Faced with new situations, our brains will apply rules based on prior events to match the current context.”
Thus drawing more attention to healing our subconscious minds and the painful past experiences that reside there is essential to future success.
There is so much material and programs out there about how to rewire your subconscious mind, but honestly start out simple by practicing breathwork to calm down your brain waves and meditate to access deeper parts of your mind.
Your energy, the frequencies and vibes you are emitting, are real AF.
Yes, you are an electromagnetic emitter of energy. Although we cannot see energy, it’s as real and present as the air that we breathe. It’s real, so get your energy in check!
Knowing, clearly communicating, and establishing your boundaries are an absolute MUST before entering a relationship.
Boundaries are good. Boundaries are necessary. We need boundaries to know where I end and the other begins. Boundaries are the ultimate self-preservation tool and it allows us to love others better too.
There is a 100% chance for you too to break free from toxic relationship patterns, forever. With the right knowledge, guidance, and practice I truly believe that toxic relationships/partners can be a thing of the past for you and that you will only invite in beautiful, loving, lasting, authentic and HEALTHY relationships going forward.
If you’re ready to liberate yourself from toxic relationship patterns for good and invite in real soulmate love connect with me in a completely free 20 minute mini-session today and let’s get clarity on your next steps!
I share more about my personal transformation journey in detail on my YouTube channel so check out this video if you’re interested in learning more!
